It's 2012. Already it's moving at such a pace, that it's the third day in and I haven't even had time to process that the first two have gone by.
A confession is that New Years Eve has never been my favorite. I'm a glass-is-half-full kind of girl (most of the time) so I've tried to hide this. I've done parties, and concerts, and bars. I've worn glasses and hats. I've tossed glitter, blown horns and have drank. A lot. I mean, after all, we're celebrating a new beginning which brings promise, and tying a neat bow to send off a wonderful 12 months past. What should be bad about celebrating that ?
I forgot about this dislike because for the past two years I have escaped the country. Two years ago I was in Ecuador, meeting all sorts of wonderful people with my sister and learning about crazy traditions I never knew existed. Last year I was in Costa Rica with my father and both sisters. A special dinner was prepared for us by a sweet Dutch woman, and a small girl did a beautiful dance for us. Both were wonderful ways to celebrate the New Year.
This year I found myself in a panic when I realized I was scheduled to be in New York and I hadn't addressed my night. I was given wonderful options from dear friends. Options that any girl would be lucky to have invitations to. But these offers didn't ease my panic or make me excited to celebrate. If I'm being totally honest I think I know why New Years makes me sad. Well there are two reasons really. One, is that all endings make me sad. All of 'em. No joke. I can cry at the end of a season of Real World when they have to leave. Real World people. The second ? New Years feels like the absolute only holiday, where being single is sad. Sad is the only word I can even come up with to insert. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter -- family please ! Fourth of July ? Nantucket and my friends. Valentine's day ? Too corny to care. But New Years feels like a time to celebrate a life you've made with someone else. And if you haven't ? It's a little sad.
Anyway -- I hopped on a train to my Grandma's house. Who better to spend it with ? And While I was sad the few days leading up to it, I got to be with my grandmother on the bay. I spent the evening baking, I ate dinner with my mom, her boyfriend and my grandmother, I watched an incredibly moving movie. I woke up refreshed, I played with my camera and I went for a run. The sun was shining. So many of my favorite things packed into not even 24 hours. I felt refreshed and not sad.
And what can I say about 2011 ? Very wonderful things actually. I think what stands out most, among all the wonderful places I went, friends I spent time with and sadness I encountered, is that I no doubt, had the biggest physical and academic challenges of my life in 2011--my 29th year of life. A back country skiing NOLS and my first month at RISD completely questioned what I thought I was capable of, and what I in fact am.
This means 2012 and 30 have a lot to live up to. A lot.
It's hard to believe only one year ago I had no idea I would be moving to the littlest state in just 6 months. Life moves so quickly and sometimes I feel like I'm running behind it. Hopefully I can keep my grip on the bumper and make this year bigger and better.
Enough about me. Cheers, to bigger, better and always happier. Because we can all always do more, right ?
PS. Above is a result of my baking, and my camera activity. Those are the corniest corn muffins a la smitten kitchen, because my grandma + Gordon love corn bread.